Without saying your name if you were asked the question “Who are you?”
What will your answer be?
Who are you?
This question will likely reveal how little you know about who you are (your identity) or it will make you think more about what really makes you – you. It might also reveal something about identity you may not have really thought about. Although when asked the question “Who are you?” your first reply is likely to be “I am (your name)” one thing is almost sure and that is; the question will make you think about yourself in a descriptive way.
But do the things that describe you define you or are you supposed to discover what you were meant to be?
Are you your qualifications?
If the things that describe you change, does that mean you become a different person?
The sub-questions that emanates from the main Question of “Who are you?” can be broad, philosophical but important. It is seen through history how philosophers and different people have tried to answer this question with each answer having its short comings.
I hope by the end of this post you will be able to answer these questions by finding the answer to the main question or by knowing where and how to find the answer to the question of “Who are you?”
Identity.
“Who are you?” is a question of Identity.
Identity is defined as who a person is, or the qualities of a person or group that makes them different from others. – Cambridge Dictionary.
So, is who you are something/someone that you create? Is the core of your identity something that was scripted, something that was already written, and you’re supposed to discover or is it something you construct by yourself?
The objectivity of truth statements.
As valid as your feelings are, truth does not care about your feelings.
Also, that you are angry does not make you right. That your feelings and opinions are respected (and rightly so) does not mean you are right.
For example, my name is Isaac, and I was born in Nigeria. If I wake up tomorrow and say that I was born in the Netherlands… (…that will be false, because saying I was born in the Netherlands doesn’t make it true). Let’s say I wasn’t just choosing to believe that I was born in the Netherlands, that for some reason after waking up, I genuinely feel in my body that where I was born is the Netherlands. Perhaps I don’t even have any memory of being born in Nigeria or ever living there but somehow have memories of always living in the Netherlands, you see that won’t still change the fact that I was born in Nigeria.
Something is not necessarily true because I feel or say so.
The truth about who we are.
You may not be able to answer the question of “Who are you?” just yet but there is something that we know about the answer to that question, there is something that the true answer of that implies for each and every one of us. That is, your identity is unique, who you are is distinctive.
This is important because amongst other things, it can help us to know what answer(s) to that question will prove incorrect.
So, what makes you – you?
To answer the question “Who are you?” it might be interesting to ask the question “what makes you – you?” Philosophers and thinkers have tried for years to answer this question with some explanations and thought experiments.
Most of the popular theories is beautifully summarized by Tim Urban in a blog post using the body, brain and data theory with other thought experiments like the teletransporter experiment.
The Body theory.
It is easy to agree that your body is you and that the theory seems pretty convincing because regardless of how you change your behavior, emotions or even your body you will still be you, right?
Say one of your limbs is removed or you lost an eye or a tooth, say you do a plastic surgery, you would still be you.
You may get a terrible disease and to survive require you to replace your lungs, heart, liver, blood… By the time the surgery is done and you get home, your family won’t say you died because you had your organs replaced – you would still be you. So, the body theory goes to show that even if we keep changing our body parts one after the other it may reduce some atoms from your body, but you would still be you.
You might say okay, your DNA is what makes you – you, well identical twins have the same DNA but are still different persons, so Nah!
The brain theory.
If you imagine a situation where a scientist swaps your brain with that of your mother, if both of you wakes up, your mother now have all your memories and all her memories is now in you, will you still be you?
According to John Locke (the English philosopher), your memory of your experience is what makes you – you.
But the interesting thing about the brain is the fact that the left and right part of the brain have their individual function(s) and if half of your brain is removed the other half can potentially learn the function(s) of the removed one.
So, imagine a hypothetical situation where you have an identical twin brother Jack who gets a fatal brain disease. Since both of you have the same DNA, if the doctors decide to transplant half your brain to jack and you are left with half your brain. When both of you wake up, they might be some confusion between you and Jack, since he now knows everything that you do. Will you say Jack has become you?
If Jack is you, then who is you?
You can also think of the situation where instead of a brain transplant the data in your brain is transferred to some other person’s brain, they now have all your experiences, secrets and memories but you will still be you, right?
It’s interesting to think about and I suggest you read the whole theories and thought experiment on Tim’s blog if you’re interested.
But the point I want to make here is that who you are is not something that you are meant to create or can create by changing parts of you or by swapping your brain for that matter which is a big deal.
Although very often we hear things like “You can be whatever you want to be” but can you really? Because as empowering as that can be it can equally be destructive. So, it is important to understand what really is intended by such counsels.
Why does who you are matter?
A fish out of water is not free
– Martin Luther
Knowing who you are informs you on how to live, knowing who you are tells you what power and privilege(s) you have, what and how much you can achieve. Knowing who you are informs you of your access, for example, let’s say you are a US citizen but unaware of this fact, you wouldn’t know that you don’t need a visa to travel to countries that are visa free for US citizen. I believe you get the point now.
Derek Parfit is quoted to have said this,
“The early Buddhist view is that much or most of the misery of human life resulted from the false view of self”
There is enormous benefit to be found from knowing who you are or at the very least, just knowing the appropriate place or way to figuring that out. In an age and time where you are constantly told to be whatever you like in order to be your authentic self this becomes more important.
In the next two sub-sections I will present the secular view and the Christian view to the question of “who are you?” and the answers that each presents.
The secular Approach.
You are under no obligation to remain the same person you were a year ago, a month ago or even a day ago. You are here to create yourself, continuously.
-Richard Feynman.
The above quote like many others out there is the kind of counsel we hear nowadays. We are constantly encouraged to create ourselves to find who we are, sometimes we are even told that continuously creating ourselves is what we are in this earth to do. But is that true? And what is the practical implication of that, assuming it’s a real possibility…burn out, meaninglessness as we endlessly pursue this path?
To be clear, counsels like the quote from Richard Feynman can also be intended to encouraging people towards self-development and growth. It can be empowering but when the goal is that you will find who you are, to find meaning, you can be sure it is a futile pursuit.
At the core of the secular approach to answering the question of who you are is that who you are is not currently a thing; that it is whatever you make it. That it is an endless process of constantly creating yourself.
You are told that there is no defined purpose for your life and that this is something you self-define, self-create by constant self-transformation. That who you are is something you create, you craft and shape by yourself as you want.
So, If for you changing your job, changing your hair, swapping your body parts, wearing a cross on your neck or inking your skin, changing your location feels like what gives you your sense of self, you should do it and that you will find who you are in that. As much as these things may have their physical impacts in our lives and sometimes our wellbeing, fundamentally it does not change who we are. They may describe us but does not have to define us at our core.
And the weight of constantly creating yourself is not something that you should carry for the rest of your life but that is exactly what the popular secular approach implies and teaches.
The response is that we become who and whatever we want to become to be our unique self. Ironically by becoming whatever we want to become, we only become a lot like each other. We become less unique, less different, we become sub-optimal, and we become indistinctive. So, this approach basically ends up not delivering on its ultimate promise.
The goal of becoming ourselves is not to become different but becoming ourselves (who we were designed to be) by implication makes us different, unique, and special.
The Christian View.
At the core of the Christian response to answering the question of “who are you?” is that you were created, you were carefully made, designed, and crafted. But that you were also created with a freewill to choose, decide and make your own choice including the choice of becoming that which you were designed or created to be.
The second and very important implication of the Christian view is that the things that describe us does not necessarily define us.
As Sam Allberry puts it.
One of the great things about being a follower of Jesus Christ is that, not everything that describes me that defines me.
Perhaps at this point it’s a bit clearer to see that if we continue to pursue our own ends, if we make our own feelings the center of our lives, we will become a slave to it. But if we become what we were made to be, if we live as we were made to only then will we be fulfilled.
Here is an analogy.
Say your boss orders a new spec of desktop for you to work with, but you end up watching Netflix and always playing games with it. I mean because the options are there, and you can choose to.
Although the goal of this computer is to do office tasks like software designs, programming or report writing. The options of what you can use that specific computer for is numerous and you can choose which of them you get to do, you will agree that there are specific goals that that desktop was given you for.
In a similar way the Christian faith claims that each and everyone of us has a specific role written for us by God. A unique character grafted and designed for you and only you can play this character. It further means that the more of God you know the more you know about your character. The more you embrace this God given role, the more authentic you will become. As such, you will discover and not create, you will discover who you are in God.
There is a plan for our lives, our lives have purpose, meaning and we need to discover them in the one who wrote the script. The special thing is, the more we become like Jesus, the more we become our unique authentic selves, but we also become different from each other in special ways.
If you take a group of Christians and make them more like Jesus, they will become more like Jesus without necessarily becoming like themselves. Because in the process of following Jesus we become like our unique, special individual selves that God first intended us to be. So, following Jesus does not deplete you, it actually makes you more you than you could ever have been otherwise.
-Sam Allbery
So how do we become like Jesus so we can find who we are?
We become like Jesus by developing a personal relationship with God, by becoming intimate with him. And the first step can be as simple as inviting Jesus on a date with you.
If at this point you are still like so “Who am I?” The answer to that is that who you are is not something you self-construct, self-define or self-transform. Who you are is unique, it’s something that was carefully created, meticulously designed with specific purpose and volition. But to find out what it is, is to ask the person that created you, else you will always carry the burden of identity on your shoulders as it should not.
If you are willing to go on this journey of personal relationship, where you will discover who you are, you can find a community of support here at ICF or email me
Sources and credits:
Most of the ideas here are a combination of my thoughts, experience, and the works of others linked below. If you are interested in reading more about this topic be sure to explore these sources.
Just thinking podcast
Vital Signs podcast (Identity in the 21st Century: The Inescapable Self)
Tim Urban’s blog
Photo Credit: Josh Nomso
