Looking back is not staying back. Oftentimes, the best way to prepare for what lies ahead is to truly understand what is behind you but not dwell in it.
Occasionally, we have been told that the way to move fast or move forward is to stop looking back and focus on moving forward, to “move on.” Contrary to this common opinion I want to share a different but logical perspective, which I think is more effective and necessary in moving forward.
Looking back as a way to move forward and faster— Reflection!
What is reflection?
To reflect is to consider deeply something that we might not otherwise have given much thought to. This helps us to learn. Reflection is concerned with consciously looking at and thinking about our experiences, actions, feelings and responses, and then interpreting or analyzing them in order to learn from them [1][2].
Reflection helps to bring us closer to ourselves in awareness, it helps us see our blind spots, and it brings us closer to our emotions, thoughts, and spirit. It helps us analyze ourselves and others. And when we reflect on ourselves, on our lives, on events that happen(s)(ed) in our lives, we get a deeper, clearer, and better understanding of ourselves.
The truth is
A significant part of our lives is a spinoff of our past. Our past experiences contribute to who we are today. In some ways, this is obvious and in other ways less obvious. But the buildup of our current status or present self, is to a great extent, the mixture of our past experiences, actions and decisions (both positive and negative).
So, to think that your past is an insignificant part of your life is to be naïve!
An Illustration
Maybe your generosity or tendency to share what you have with others is rooted in the fact that right from a young age, while your dad drove you and your neighbor’s kids back home from school, he always bought snacks like biscuits or candy on the way home, and he’d share some for you and the other kids in the back seat. So, very early on you absorbed into your subconscious that the kind thing to do was; always share what you have with friends or those in need.
Without consciously and carefully thinking about it, these things may not be obvious, so here is an example that is as plain as a pikestaff; perhaps you grew up in a loud house, one where someone was always yelling, and so you grew up to think that you need to always raise your voice at someone to be heard. Maybe this was your childhood setting, the only template you had or were exposed to early on, some soul searching is required and a deliberate effort to spot and change these kinds of configurations.
Say, you confided in someone you trusted and respected, and the person disappoints you. So, now you have trouble trusting people.
Your thinking and views have been greatly molded by these experiences and it takes honesty and reflection to truly see them; while courage is required to change where necessary.
so, you see why reflection is critical to make a significant change in your life?
Past Experience bias
One thing that reflection can also help you uncover is “experience bias” how your past-experiences can incredibly influence your life. And how it can make change difficult because after all you seem to have some sort of “Proof” from your experience. It becomes important to know when to put previous experience on hold or discard them. This is rarely achieved without reflection
Reflection in learning
One of the first things I learnt in school, studying in the Netherlands was reflection; how to reflect on your process. In my first year, after our first group project, I can remember how reflection was a mandatory part at the end of the project.
Basically, you had to think back on the project process and write what you think of it. You were forced and required to think, to look back at it, to see your process with fresh eyes, see what you did well or what went well and what did not. Learn from it, take points for improvements, and recognize areas of strength to emphasize/capitalize more on.
A fair warning.
It is important to say that reflection is different from dwelling in the past.
One of the reasons people do not like looking into the past is because, most times, there are lots of unpleasant memories there or negative experiences we don’t want to dig up or face. So, you often hear people say things like, “the past is the past, leave the past in the past.”
The point though is not to go into the past and be hooked or stuck in it. The point is to be self-aware of their influences in your life (your current life), to see how much of that is currently driving your life. To see what story, you have subconsciously told yourself about yourself that is not true or no longer valid.
To learn or become aware of what has got the driver’s seat of certain areas of your life, looking back into the past in reflection gives you the clue of what to change, if you can be honest with yourself.
The reason people fear exploring their past is quite understandable, but the key point here is to not dwell in it.
Learning from the past.
To illustrate this, I will share a brilliant insight from my friend Israel Itodo.
I have always wondered why Israel loves to read history, so in 2018 I reached out to him and asked him exactly that, and his response was nothing but insightful and brilliant. Of course, he had more to say first:
“It is not just the history that interests me. It is the substance of the people that made history. I read Biographies and Autobiographies mainly to understand why people did the things they did, the rationale behind it and the thinking of that age. I want to grasp the intrigues and issues that led to some specific decisions being made. I concentrate on those that have held leadership positions in the past, counting those that did well and those that didn’t. I try to get a hint of the challenges they faced and how they overcame it. I try to have a world view of different issues and that is why I go through those books. So I can see people’s views being expressed. It serves as a form of encouragement to me most times.
Reading about the kind of background they came from and how they were able to make serious impact notwithstanding the limitations. And then finally, I love my country and I believe I will play a prominent role sometimes in the future. It will be good to avoid the mistakes of the past and build on the gains. I won’t know those things if I don’t dig into the past”
Brilliant! isn’t it?
Reflecting on your past can encourage and motivate you too. To rephrase Soren Kierkegaard
“Life is best understood backwards; but it must be lived forward.”
This is the summary of the lesson in Israel’s brilliant point.
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Having explored what looking back is in the sense of reflection. How can we make the best use of it and how can we apply this simple principle in our daily lives to make better decisions and to solve problems? These will be explored next week in part two.
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Sources
1. Atkins, S. Murphy, K. (1994) Reflective practice. Nurs S/JHJ 8(39): 49-54.
2. Boud, D., Keogh, R., Walker, D. (1985). Reflection: Turning Experience into Learning. Kogan Page, London.
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